Have you ever felt so low that you couldn’t find an easy way to get out? What do you do when you are feeling down? How do you get out of that shell in your life and create a new one? Here are four things to do right now to find yourself again.
When you feel down, chances are you have outlived your old shell and you are in need to get a new shell. For most people, feeling down is a sign of hopelessness. They do not see it as a positive thing. That is a wrong way of going about problems in your life. The people who approach life problems as opportunities to grow and change succeed. You are feeling down and you are stuck. Good for you! It is time to get a new shell because the shell you are in right now is too small for you. This is a positive thing. There is a solution to every problem wouldn’t you agree?
How to Rediscover Your Passion
When you are feeling down, it is most likely that you have done one of the following or all of them:
- Your values have changed and you do not like the end results you have today
- You or someone have broken your rules which make you feel low and defeated and small
- You have standards that are not being met and you feel like your standards do not define who you really want to be.
- You have relationships, friends, and network but they are not helping you grow. Instead, you feel dragged and occupied, “busybody” without meeting your goals (finance, school, work).
If any of these apply to you, then keep on reading and welcome to the club of re-invention of self. In other words, “I Need To Be Serious.” You are not alone. In fact, all of us have to go through this multiple times in our lives. That is because as we lead our lives, so many events take place. We grow by experience and different experiences in our lives allow us to grow into a new shell over time. When you feel down, you have outgrown your shell and need to get a new shell that fits you. That is some good news. Are you ready?
Four Things to do right now to find yourself again:
Change your values.
The reason why you have got to change your values is that your values have been changing ever since you were born. Remember when you were five years old? What did you value? Do you still have those same values? Some values change over time. That is because as we grow into new experiences, we adopt a new way of thinking and new way of seeing the world. Our values changed because they are meant to. Your values are guided by the environment you are in or were raised in. When you move into a new environment, whether it is a new school, new job, new location, your values shift.
Bad news: Although adapting to new values is a good thing, it can be very challenging.
Go back in your life and ask yourself: What are my values? What do I value now that I did not value before? What new values have you adapted that should not define you? If you do not pay attention, the rules that are enforced in your environment become part of your values over time. With those rules in mind, let us move on.
Evaluate your rules
Rules are co-habitation of your values. Your values are reinforced by the rules you set for yourself or rules you were taught to follow when you were young. To discover yourself, notice how it does not say to create rules but evaluate them. The rules are already there. Everyone has rules. You might not have them on hand or on a written paper, but subconsciously you have rules. Matter fact, this is one of the reasons you might be feeling down at times. You or someone has broken your rules! Maybe you have a rule that in order to feel loved, you have to be told that you are loved every day. When that does not happen, you enter into an isolation mode.
Some of my rules are that, I have to get my stuff done or else I feel like trash. When someone does not know that about me, it becomes very difficult for me when they are distracting or hold me to do things that take my time away. When I do not get my stuff done, I feel low and down no matter how much that person cares for me. I feel like they do not care because if they did, they would allow me to get my stuff done!
It is interesting how we have rules that guide us. When you do not communicate your rules, things do not go well. 85% of the problems we have come from miscommunication. What rules are you breaking? What are some of the rules that are not being met by your friends?
Raise Your Standards
After changing your values and evaluating your rules, now you are ready to raise your standards. Raising your standards is very easy once you are done with the previous steps. It can be difficult to try to raise your standards when you are unfamiliar with which rules of yours are being broken.
Raise your standards as 1, 2,3.
-Make a decision on who you want to become
-Be clear with yourself and how you want to appear to others
-Change your actions to match your attention
The most important thing to raising your standard is to create a new habit. This lead to our final step of the four steps of the things to do to find yourself again.
Create relationships that match your work
What does it mean to create relationships that match your work? If you go through the first three steps, then you are ready to change your standards. I have mentioned that sometimes we feel down because our values are not met. We feel down because our friends have broken our rules. To create relationships that match your work means you have to make sure your friends are there to help you. You cannot be the only person to fuel your friends. Your relationships must fuel you to become the best version of yourself. If they do not do that, then you have outgrown the circle of your current friendships and must seek to build new ones!
Relationships are key. In fact, better relationships help you to gain better opportunities, better goals, and most importantly, they shape who you are. As result, you become confident in yourself and courageous. It is like you have a safety net because you gain personal freedom!
I hope you take one thing or two from this reading. These are steps that have worked for me and have worked with a number of people. I hope they work for you too.
Need someone to help you accomplish just that? I am committed to working with you and I want to welcome you to my “Climbing the Walls of Greatness” class. Please follow this link to sign up and learn more.